


Interests of Disinterests

by Englishallelujah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, actually don't read this at all, you'll regret reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Englishallelujah/pseuds/Englishallelujah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk and Jake engage in their first happenings of gay love - they couldn't believe the feeling they would receive simply from these perverse actions. Roxy happily joins in their fun, along with Jane too! Is Jake beginning to have signs of jealousy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interests of Disinterests

**Author's Note:**

> UM, DON'T HATE ME. This was collaborated upon by a number of people, and they did a.. TERRIFIC job if I do say so myself.

Dirk strapped on his kawaii desu dress, waiting for Jake to arrive at his home. Jake was just expecting a normal day of friendly fun and watching movies and bullshit like that. Little did he know that Dirk was planning to take his hairy leg virginity; Dirk was standing in his room facing the window.

Silence filled the room and a soft breeze lifted his kilt. Jake's hairy cock blew with his kilt, spraying piss on everything in the room.

He looked at Dirk with a large grin on his face, "Drink it." Dirk nodded to this response vigorously.

Dirk got down on all fours, then quickly lifted his hand and began rubbing and palming his own nipple. He only has one after a difficult rehab session with Roxy. Jake stared at Dirk and let down a low fart from his arsehole. He blushed. Dirk locked his lips around Jakes tight arsehole. He inhaled his delicious methane. He let out a low moan and the gas travelled through his body. It went straight through him so his own rectal flaps began flapping in the dazzling fart. The sheer velocity of his assflaps sent them both into space.

**BIG SNOOP DOGGGGG.**

Dirk and Jake crash landed in Roxy's massive hairy vagina. Tangled up in the mess of pubes, they ended up being held captive my Roxy's crabs. Roxy looked down. She was about to shove a bottle up her cunt, but now she saw the hot mess of gay sixteen year olds beside some cute cunt crabs. She put the bottle aside. Jane didn't get Roxy's warning on the two homosexuals in her nether regions, she mistook Roxy's pleas to drunken slurs. She began to eat Roxy out. Suddenly, Dirk felt a tingle in his crotch, the obvious beginnings of an erection. Jake knew what happened whenever Dirk had a boner, _SOMEONE DIED._

Today, that victim of Dirk's boner was Calliope.

Nobody cared, except for Caliborn who was more than happy to furiously masturbate over Calliope's limp corpse. Jane felt the laxatives she had slipped into the cake that she intended to give to Roxy. Suddenly the entire room was flooded with her juicy shit and piss in a nice runny mixture. There was enough sweetcorn to feed roughly 10 Ethiopian children. Roxy mistook the shit for Reece's Pieces. She began shovelling hoards of shit into her mouth.

She suddenly realized it was shit, however she carried on eating. She'd found a new taste to enjoy. The delicious fruity smell was turning her on. Her vagina was leaking out fluids like a hole in the Titanic. This in turn, turned Jane on. She began to vibrate. Dirks leaky penis started again, it sprayed out urine all over Jane's insides. Jake stared in awe as gallon after gallon of urine poured out of Dirk's enormous horse cock like Niagra Falls. Then Caliborn burst in on his sister's corpse (mistake, _HE WAS ALREADY THERE_ ), and ripped out his peppermint cock swirl.

Out of the green, the server screen went black. Jake began to get jealous of the plethora of urine pouring onto Jane. He wanted some of that molten yellow liquid, too. Jake dove straight for Dirk's penis, his leg hair flowing in the current wind. He encased his lips over the head of Dirk's cock and began to chug down the gallons of pee. The urine flowed straight down Jake's throat and into his own bladder.

_TO BE CONTINUED._


End file.
